𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭-𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝟏: 𝒹🍬𝓌𝓃 𝒹𝒶𝓎

ew feelings :(

Date: September 25, 2020 8:26 a.m.

Now Playing:

>>Pop Smoke ft. Lil Tjay - Mood Swings<<

honestly, i don't like talking about my feelings. idk. i just never got to really open up to my mom or to my family members about my emotions as a child so i tend to hide it from the people that i'm close to. i just couldn't help it. but as a way of releasing it, i tell it to the whole world. that's how i coped up with the pain. i keep a lotta shit to myself because i don't think my emotions are worth discussing. my closest friends tried to help me open up. i did, partially, but never as a whole. i've tried doing it to a couple of guys i've dated. the idea of them not giving a fuck and pretending to care somehow made me strip myself naked from all the worries. because i knew they never cared about my feelings. i knew they only want one thing. a pretty face. a vulnerable one. so i took that as an advantage. for them to view me as the 'weak' one. the one incapable of committing bad deeds. that was what helped me open up to men i barely knew. i wanted them to think i'm a crybaby. although, i kind of am...it helped as an outlet. 

i loved romanticizing my pain. i found it therapeutic...the idea of listening to sad music, crying, watching sad movies that would make me cry more, putting on makeup before i cry so i could take cute crying selfies for my private story, getting drunk so i could drunk text people....the list is endless. i honestly hate how i cope with my emotions but that's how i do it.

but yeah...if u see me crying on my story, don't bother asking unless u're cute, aight???